I’m not certain exactly what day I am on of my “30 Day Cultivating Life” Adventure…but this is how it should be I think…the “program” becomes just a way of life.  I was struck with a great wave of gratitude the other day, as I looked around me, and then revisited last week’s blog posts.  Everything I am surrounded with is beautiful.  I have within arm’s reach, or walking distance, all the things and “ways” I have valued and longed for since becoming a mother.  It seems I have not been forsaken after all.  All the forsaking seems to be self-inflicted; a long-practiced habit inherited from my mother, who most likely got it from hers.  G-d has given myself and my family a New Land, a New Inheritance, and a New Way.  It’s up to me to embrace it, even though it is hard, and requires much sacrifice.  I have so many idolatrous cords binding me to things that help me retain my self-defeating ways.  I was having visions of cutting them, burning them, crushing their hooks beneath my feet last night.  I crave freedom, and above that the joy and peace to be able to walk in it.  Finally, I am walking in that direction.

These past days, I have been focusing on staying present when the children are acting childish.  I have also been trying to think “big picture” instead of “immediate annoyance” when I come across a surprise situation.  During quiet time, when I thought they were all in their rooms with books, I came out to find Little Crazy Matas, in his underwear in the pantry.  He had filled several cups, glasses and jars with water, and was banging them with a spoon.  When I asked him what he was doing he said, “playing the water xylophone”.  I decided to let him continue instead of telling him the usual, “don’t you know it’s quiet time….I didn’t say you could do that!  Pour all that out now!”

Our access to local food here is amazing.  It’s time to pull out Animal Vegetable Miracle again.  We could certainly eat only food from a 100 mile radius, heck, from a 25 mile radius is my guess.  There is even local olives and olive oil.  Haven’t found the wine yet, but there has to be.  I am sure there is at least some good local beer…  At our CSA this week were chiboogi beets, pink and white on the inside.  Also in the CSA room, we buy locally baked sourdough bread..which we served with fresh mozz, local basil and tomatoes.

We found swim noodles at the dollar store, and the kids have been making a collection of lumber at the swimming hole.  They use it for “boats” and making bridges, etc…  They put the noodles under a large board, and were actually able to float on it.  No more swimming hole for me, however, until there is some rain.  The water is low, and it makes it seem a bit rank.  Can’t take the city out of the girl sometimes…after a childhood and adoloescence swimming in pools and being on swimteams, I do get a bit skeeved swimming with the fish.  But the children don’t mind, so I keep it to myself.

In terms of pushing through the hard stuff to get to something better….I finally unpacked, cleaned and organized the playroom.  It’s in a three season porch, so in a few months we will have to move it.  For now, it’s lovely, with large screened windows.  It almost feels like being outside on a breezy day.  The view is gorgeous, of the lower pond, and the farms in the distance.

This may sound strange, but I have a serious problem with libraries.  Don’t get me started on what gets passed as children’s books nowadays, not to mention the fact that at many libraries there are massive computer terminals loaded with “educational games” for the children to play.  I’ve seen countless toddlers sitting in front of those screens managing a mouse, clicking at whatever the machine is prompting them to.  In Glastonbury, we had two tiny libraries, one in an 1800’s Meetinghouse, the other in an 1820 schoolhouse.  Neither had computers, both still used card catalogues.  We were often the only ones in there, as most parents brought their children to the large main branch, with its classrooms and interactive story hours.  Our story hour was old school; a woman with a stack of books, reading them outloud until the hour was up.  Anyway, we went to the Bennington Library today, and discovered a very lovely children’s room.  It had a wooden dollhouse, a canopied area with pillows for quiet reading, and stations for drawing and stamping, etc…  Very low key, very much our speed.  And…they have a great little green space in front with a climbing tree.